Tuesday, March 17, 2009

creating a safe space

Being home alone is dangerous for me. An eating disorder feeds on secrecy; time alone in my apartment used to mean Ed's time. That association is difficult to break. So, I am slowly relearning how to be healthy while I'm alone.


My apartment has a small loft area. This space had been collecting clutter since Tyler and I moved in. Once in a while it served as a guest room, but mostly it served as storage space. When I came home from residential treatment, I wanted to create a safe place for myself -- somewhere I could go to be calm, alone with my thoughts, and away from danger. While it is still a work in progress, this weekend the space finally became usable. Now, when I'm afraid of falling into disordered behavior, all I have to do is climb the stairs to my safe haven.

6 comments:

  1. I love your space. It looks calm, safe and a great place to be.

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  2. Did you paint the wall? It's beautiful! That does look like a wonderful safe haven.

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  3. Actually, my talented best friend, Tyler Thomas painted the wall! He's such an amazing artist that it sometimes discourages me from doing my own artwork. But, I try to remember that I'm not doing it to be the best artist, but, rather, to get some calm and enjoyment out of the process.

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  4. I know what you mean. D.'s wonderful writing talent discouraged me from writing for a while, but then I thought how every person's creative talent is different and unique. What you create comes from you and no one could do the same thing!

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  5. Yeah, I definitely try to keep that in mind as much as possible. It's nice to hear that you've felt that way too :)

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